Whack a Mole

I know that I haven't posted in a while but it's hard to keep up with 2 different blogs. As of late it just seems like it is one thing after another. I almost feel like I am under attack and have been withdrawing as of late. I prefer isolation any ways so it's not that big a deal. Relatively speaking I am fine.... I just want to be like a turtle and stick my head in my shell until the storm is over.

One of the big things right now is family. There is the adoption issues that have resurfaced again. My biological mother called me out of the blue to tell me that she would be in the area and wanted to know if I was available to meet. The timing was off and there was some missed communication. So now I am disappointed that I didn't get the chance to meet her. I am also relieved because I am not in the best frame of mind at the moment.

Conversations with my parents have also been less than smooth. I'm 28 years old. I think I can make my own decisions by now. And yes I do know that I need to find a job and I will. Do you not think that I have enough stress without being reminded of that? I hate to say it but the one thing that keeps going through my mind about the call I had with my dad is that it cost me about $9. The joys of long distance on a cell phone... and right now I don't really have that kind of money. It doesn't sound like a lot... but right now I need to come up with $30 to pay rent, $35 for my chiropractor appointment, $25 for Dell, and it would be kind of nice to be able to buy some groceries.... So spending $9 on a conversation where I was left feeling empty and worthless just makes it worse.

I've come to the conclusion that life is like a game of whack a mole. Just when you hit one mole and make him disappear another one pops up. It just never stops. Now where's that mallet when you need one.