Negative Energy

Some days I wish I could just tune everyone out... and I do mean everyone. Being on a leave of absence means I don't have to listen to as many people but there still seems to be a lot of negative energy in the people that are talking to me. Well for once my mom didn't have anything negative to say.

Dad seemed to be pushing for me to forget the doctor I now have in Peterborough and contact my aunt's doctor to see if he would accept me. How about I just stay where I am and see what happens?

Val had to keep me updated on the happenings at work. I am off work. I really don't care that the server went down for a while. Nor do I care about the peer feedbacks and scope of support. It has no bearing on my life currently. I am not there and won't be back anytime soon. It is interesting that Jarratt is covering for me while I am off but aside from that I don't want to talk about work. Every conversation seems to be the same... work... horses... my battle with the doctors... it gets repetetive. For the most part I don't even like talking to her at the moment. Then again... she also went up to one of my agents to discuss me and that still bothers me.

Then there is Steve... He is the biggest source of negative energy. I get to hear all about his calls and what's going on at work. Every day he pushes me to request a new team when I do return to work and is quite open on his dislike for Chris. I hear about it all the time. Coming from him this is nothing new but it is tiresome. I don't want to hear it. It's pointless and is nothing more then his opinion.

While I may not agree with the decision that was made to send me on an LOA it has allowed me to actually get treatment for the Fibro and the fatigue that goes with it. This has been my chance to get better and come back at 100% something I haven't been in a long time. I just want to be able to recover in peace and would rather people be positive about it. If you don't have anything good to say then don't say anything at all.

I dread him being around because it is just such a negative experience. I enjoy the time alone with just Azrael. It's the only time I get peace and quiet. No one to give their opinion on the current situation. So far the most positive person has been Tammy who sent me a get well card. It meant a lot because for once someone wasn't giving their 2 cents... just encouraged me to get better. I need more people like that. :o)

I still have three weeks to go at a minimum before I am back to work. 2 weeks until I can get Dr. Caskey to sign the medical certificate. Between now and then I would really like to isolate myself... or at least be around positive people. Negativity is not going to help me recover and feel better. Positivity is where it's at.