I realize that we are now more then halfway through 2008 but I wanted to take a moment to look back to 2007 since with my absence there were some things that were left out. Until now I don't think I realized just how much of myself I was sacrificing at work. Funny how it takes being fired to really find that freedom. No matter what I did it really didn't matter. I was doomed. I thought that it was going to be some big screw-up that sent me packing.... and it turned out to be the most innocent thing. well okay maybe not entirely innocent but it certainly wasn't about job performance. It was all over a picture that was posted on FaceBook. At the time it was like my world didn't even make sense. I thought this was my career. What was I going to do now? I watched as most of my friends abandoned me. I was now the pariah and since I didn't work there we no longer had things in common.
I think my theme song could be "Boulevard of Broken Dreams." I did have people that stood by me but they didn't understand what I was going through. After all it didn't happen to them. They still had their jobs. I felt alone, lost at sea. I was trying to fight a company and there were definitely times I questioned it... especially as the months dragged on and the more other people began to doubt. But I never gave up. I kept fighting and eventually I did win. I couldn't get my job back but I did get termination pay.
There is a lot of shame in being fired... even if it was not justified. While I was fighting them my employment record said, "terminated with cause." I was very reluctant to job hunt and go through interviews because I had no answer for why I left my last job. I didn't want to lie but couldn't tell the truth either. It took 9 months to be resolved.. 9 very long months.
In November I started working for my current company. I consider it to be a time of transition. I have no long term aspirations here.... no desire to move up the corporate ladder. It's more about just putting in the time and building up my confidence so that the old job will be but a distant memory when it comes time to do an interview. Aside from the low wages it is exactly what I need. Perfect for the slacker within all of us.
Now it's about moving forward.... and it's nice to be able to look back and see that I really did land on both feet. At the time I wasn't so sure and had no idea how I was going to make it. But the survival instinct kicked in and here we are. Just remember, one foot in front of the other.
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
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