Enlightening Conversation

I've come to the realization that some people just don't think before they open their mouth. The other day I was having a conversation with Jason about tattoos as I was on my way out. Jennifer stood up and started waving frantically, it was like she was an air traffic controller. Some days she just reminds me of high school... and has this need to be the center of attention. So I head over to see what she wants. She wanted to say goodbye and she wanted to tell me about the newspaper article she had been reading. On the front page of the Peterborough Examiner there was an article on self-harm... or at least on a woman who self-injures. Apparently, Jennifer was disturbed by the article. Okay, I can understand the shock and the questioning that is involved when someone first hears of it. And the picture was pretty graphic. But is work really an appropriate forum for that conversation? I am a performance coach... not a therapist. And while I can draw on my psychologist background it's not something I am entirely comfortable discussing, at least not at work with someone I don't know all that well... in the middle of the floor. I don't think the thought ever crossed her mind that a) a lot of people could hear her and b) someone there might use self-injury as a coping mechanism and be put on the spot. Of course, the irony is that it was me that was put on the spot. Jason added his two cents about someone he knows that has a "cutting toolkit." I don't think that put her mind at ease at all... He also stated that most people cut their inner thigh or their bicep. I've looked into it and that's not true... The most common area is actually the forearm. It's only when it has to be more concealed that people start cutting elsewhere. And the inner thigh is more of a suicide attempt because of the vein. But at least he deflected the attention off me. I was feeling pretty self conscious. I was wearing a tank top and I can see the scars on my arm. Plus there were the inevitable questions... "How can someone do that?" So they were both discussing abuse... molestation... etc. And of course that gets me thinking about my own life... the reasons for the self-injury... and it brings back the memories of the abuse and the sexual assault. Then Jennifer asked "How messed up do you have to be to do that?" Obviously that is a value statement. And it shows the stigma that is involved. Someone could numb themselves with drugs, alcohol or sex and we wouldn't ask that question. And while she may not have meant to... that question is directed right at me. I take on the psychologist role and come back to ways people cope and how it was their decision... and how she shouldn't feel bad about it. I don't think she was convinced though... And then she said "What if I end up doing that?" What exactly am I supposed to say to that? Of course I said it wasn't likely... but what can I say to that? That conversation was from Thursday and I am still thinking about it. I had to be careful about what I said since I didn't want to "out" myself. I was not comfortable with the conversation but how do you stop it without running the risk of saying too much? I don't believe work was the place for that conversation. I just wish that people would think before they speak as well.