I was thinking last night about the illusion we have of being safe and secure. Now I know I am somewhat jaded. Right from the time I was little though that illusion was shattered. There was no one to protect me. I wasn't even safe in my own home. So why would I be safe in society? Safety is something we take for granted. We also have this idea of right and wrong... and assume that good will triumph. There is a naive sense of justice.
All right so I am jaded and bitter. I have learned first hand how cruel the world can be. I had those lessons from an early age. I grew up in a family of abuse. My innocence was taken away, along with my sense of identity. It was shaped around lies. Those lessons didn't stop there.
It has been almost a year since the rape. Once again my notion of saftey and security was destroyed. It wasn't the first time it happened but this time I was in my own home and this time I definitely said no. I'd like to say I am over it but there are still moments when I know I'm not. Moments when I feel alone, isolated and afraid. If it can happen in my own home then it can happen anywhere.
My bunny is the equivalent of a security blanket. He reminds me of a time of innocence. A time when the world made sense and it was a safe place. My version of therapy... the bunny... and Azrael.
No comments:
Post a Comment