Broken Promises

I am my own worst enemy. I know we all have our own demons to face. I made a promise to myself back in April and recently I found myself breaking that promise. I can find 101 justifications for it. I never did like this time of year. It is supposed to be about family and spending time with loved ones. While I am going to see my sister she is about the only family I want to see. It's taken me this long to break the power my parents have... I don't want to give it back. So it's always a lonely time of year. I think that's why the Fibromyalgia always bothers me this time of year as well... the stress and the change in weather. Lately, there has also been a lot of stress brought on by so-called friends and by the whole roommate situation. That has escalated to the point where I barely even want to be home. Things have calmed down a bit now... but it's still getting to me. So what did I do? Went out and bought a knife again. The day I went to work on my day off (yeah which time was that? *lol*) and was helping with the decorations I was wearing a t-shirt and could see all the scars on my arm. The only thing I could thing of was how much hate and anger it took to cut myself. I'm not even sure what is stopping me now. I already broke the promise. Well I do know what is stopping me... I don't want to go back to that. I haven't told anyone since I don't want them to worry about me more then they already do... and I don't want to disappoint them. I do a good enough job of that without adding this into it to. Can I just sleep through the next two weeks... until this year is over?